Funny Quotes Oh You Ride a Bmw Motorcycle Let Me Put These
We all know what the thrill of the open road can do to a guy. At least I assume we all do, since we are all here at Hot Cars either reading or writing (or doing both) about cars and trucks and how much we love them and love to drive them. If you're not a guy who likes to put on a cool pair of shades, crank up the music, roll down the windows and blast down the road in search of open spaces then you might want to check out something different today. Unless you're the kind of guy who wants to do everything I just described except in your truck in the mud and boulders instead of the open road. If you're one of those guys you can stay- you're part of the brotherhood for sure. Heck, I'll even throw in those of you who like to pilot speedboats at high speed or have your pilot's license and know that even a Cessna 150 or Piper Cub can be suitably thrilling when you get up in those blue, blue skies that seem to stretch forever.
Aah, but there's one very special group of you out there that I forgot to mention. You know who you are- the guys who like crotch rockets, 'Busas, hogs, sleds, choppers, pocket rockets, cruisers, Bonnies, CBs, and Gixxers. OK, I'll stop with the slang. Anyway, it takes a special breed to ride the open road on a bike with the wind quite literally in your face and, as we all know, special breeds breed (see what I did there?) their own special lingo. Here then, are 19 weird and truthful things people who ride bikes say to each other.
19 "Winter Is Nature's Way Of Telling You To Polish"
I was just talking about shiny chrome a minute ago, wasn't I? Alright, I admit it, I was complaining about it, but only in the context of being woken up, something I hate. But I'll also admit there are few things on the road more awe-inspiring than a really nice bike with lots of chrome polished to the nth degree.
Chrome is awesome, chrome is the best.
But it must kind of stink to be a cold-weather biker and know that six months out of the year your ride is probably gonna be housed in your garage and that you might get sick of polishing with no reward.
18 "Four Wheels Move the Body, Two Wheels Move The Soul"
I'm pretty sure this particular quote will be self-evident to anybody who thinks about it for more than half a second but just in case you missed it, this popular biker saying is not referring to bicycles (now that would be truly weird) but to the feeling that a biker gets on the open road riding the way they want to ride. Bikers definitely look down on those of us who drive cars, although they are not averse to using panel trucks when they make an illegal weapon or substance delivery. Yes, that was sarcasm folks. Mostly. The quote itself rings fairly poetic, I think.
17 "As Long As I Can Hold It Up I'll Ride"
Ooh, a double entendre! I love me a good double entendre. And I have to admit it, this one is pretty funny. I know from talking to friends that riding a bike can be pretty physically challenging.
It's a lot different from getting behind the steering wheel of your Lexus in your climate controlled, fully isolated leather cocoon, insulated from the world.
Depending upon what kind of bike you ride you might be hauling around hundreds of pounds of weight just to get moving. Being able to have the strength to keep your ride on the straight and narrow takes a certain kind of strength not everyone has or wants to exercise.
16 "You Don't Stop Riding When You Get Old, You Get Old When You Stop Riding"
Here's a slightly more tame version of the previous entry, one that has become an absolute maxim for bikers over the years. This could very well be one of the most popular quotes to come out of biker club culture.
It helps that it very smartly juxtaposes the age and riding issue in a fairly concise and very quotable fashion.
It also helps that there's a certain depth, hope, and yearning to it that the previous entry's double entendre joke most decidedly did not have. I like this one a lot; I guess it touches my soul or something. Maybe I will become a biker after all.
15 "When You're Riding Lead Don't Spit"
Hahahaha! This is great- so true and so funny. Although, if you're riding lead and you just so happen to be a charter member of a bunch of Gypsy Jokers and all the guys riding behind you are also Gypsy Jokers it might not be so funny.
Outlaw bikers are not known for their patience or understanding.
What they are known for is stomping people, even their own, over the slightest misdeed or insult. Spitting is kind of gross anyway but definitely not something to do upwind of a dozen outlaw bikers who will forget their brotherhood the minute they get gobsmacked in the face by your saliva.
14 "Only A Biker Knows Why A Dog Sticks His Head Out The Window"
This is too funny for words. It brings up such a great visual image. I think that's it's also absolutely spot on in the motorcycle world, considering how many different forums I caught it on.
It's good to see that riders can have a sense of humor about themselves and the world they inhabit and have a sort of jokey self-awareness.
But hey, at least a biker won't let his tongue hang out in the wind and try to run frantically back and forth between the front of his bike and the back. At least I hope he doesn't. That, my friends, would be weird.
13 "You Start The Game With A Full Pot of Luck And An Empty Pot Of Experience…"
OK, so I love this quote so much that I had to include it, even though I know my editor most definitely does not love it when I try to write a header that has like 75 words in it. So I cheated and only put the first half of the quote in my header. I know, I'm shifty that way. Wait, "shifty?" In a bike article? Yup, I've still got it.
Anyway the full quote is: "You start the game with a full pot of luck and an empty pot of experience... The object is to fill the pot of experience before you empty the pot of luck." I think that applies to more than just riding a bike but it also applies so well to motorcycles it's not even funny
12 "Never Ride Faster Than Your Angel Can Fly"
I'll admit it from the get-go. I'm not much of a motorcyclist. And I'm definitely not a biker. In case you didn't know the difference in what I just said there it's simple; motorcyclists are people who ride bikes and bikers are people who belong to biker clubs, usually of the outlaw nature. Neither group much likes being called the name of the other but bikers might stomp you for calling them motorcyclists while the other group will just gently correct you. I like this quote, though. It has a warning but also optimistic sense to it not always seen in bike culture.
11 "The Best Alarm Clock Is Sunshine On Chrome"
Man, bikers sure can be weird sometimes. You know what the best alarm clock is? I'll you what it is. It's rolling out of bed whenever you feel like it without being told by anyone or anything that you need to do so. Not your kid bouncing on your head, not your iPhone ringer, not your spouse yelling at you, and definitely not some polished-up chrome shining in your face. See, I told you I wasn't a biker. I mean I get this one in spirit but not in actuality. Wait, you say this phrase is supposed to be symbolic??? I did not know that- back to bed for me.
10 "I'm Proud To Be Behind Bars"
Like I said, I'm really not a motorcycle guy. Although I have written about motorcycles and their riders many, many times over the years, I have usually written about the culture surrounding motorcycle clubs and their ilk, not the nuts and bolts of the bikes themselves (you saw that, right? Darn I'm good). Outlaw and quasi-outlaw motorcycle clubs (or gangs if you prefer) like the Hells Angels, Outlaws, Banditos, and more provide a fascinating glimpse into a sub-culture that most people would prefer stayed far, far away from them. That's why the double-meaning in this little phrase is so funny.
9 "Everyone Crashes, Some Get Back On, Some Don't, Some Can't"
This one is ultimately pretty obvious and kind of sad. But I didn't get the last part at first; I guess I was thinking of something like a little kid falling off a horse and vowing never to horseback ride again. But that's not really what this one means in the context of motorcycles, is it? Most little kids who fall off a horse are perfectly fine; it's their own emotional choice whether to ride that horse again. But there's a bunch of bikers who have crashed who will never ride again not because they are afraid but because they are either crippled or departed. Yeah, motorcycles are dangerous. More dangerous than horses, I'm pretty sure.
8 "If You Can Still Hear Your Fears, Shift A Gear"
I like this particular saying a lot. I'm not sure I understand it but I like it. I mean, I think what it is saying is that you need to meet your fears head on, especially if your fears are tied into that bike you're riding. But are bikers who follow this directive shifting up or shifting down? I honestly don't know, I could see it going either way. But I'm willing to bet the progenitor of this statement mean "forget about it, go faster and see what happens." That's my takeaway from this one at the end of the day. Shift into a higher gear and blow away those fears.
7 "Got A $5 Head? Get A $5 Helmet"
I thought this one was kind of odd to find in an outlaw biker club forum but then I started thinking about it. An awful lot of the time nowadays, when you see guys actually affiliated with clubs, they are all wearing helmets.
Now granted, some of those helmets might be a little bit odd- Kaiser spikes on your helmet, anyone- but they are real helmets.
Those newbies out there who try to save some money by wearing little cheap plastic helmets on their precious noggins might just deserve everything they get. You're already so at risk just being on that bike- don't make it worse.
6 "Bikes Don't Leak Oil, They Mark Their Territory"
This one is great. As everyone knows who has ever been around a bike for oh, let's say 10 seconds, they are great at leaking oil. But having some fun with it in this context is pretty funny.
Wolves and dogs mark their territory. They also travel in packs. Just like biker gangs tend to do.
This leads me to a question for the ages. Would you rather have a pack of wild wolves peeing all over your doorstep or a pack of wild bikers dripping oil everywhere? I honestly don't know the better answer to that question. Is there an option C?
5 "The Older I Got, The faster I Was…"
This time I'm just gonna come right out and give you the full quote without much preamble: "The older I got, the faster I was. There are old bikers and there are bold bikers, but there are no old, bold bikers." This absolute gem comes straight from the mouth of the legendary stunt driver Evel Knievel. Evel was a biker to the extreme- perhaps not a card-carrying member of any outlaw motorcycle club but still a guy who pushed both himself and his bikes (and jet steam rocket bikes!) to the absolute edge. Evel was a legend in his own time and beyond and an icon to bikers everywhere.
4 "Never Be Afraid To Slow Down"
Alright, so this is a kind of weird quote to put right after a quote from the legendary Evel Knievel, who I don't think even had brakes installed on most of his bikes! It's also a weird thing to think of riders saying.
Most of us have this perception of having a big hog boom through an intersection at 75 miles per hour or a rocket weaving in and out of traffic at 100.
But in actuality, an awful lot of bikers would like to keep their precious hides attached to their bodies and the best way to lose said hide is to not pay attention to what the road gives you. The smartest bikers slow down when they sense trouble or complications…and then speed right back up as soon as they safely can.
3 "There Are Two Kinds Of Riders: Those Who Have Already Crashed And Those Who Will Crash"
Well, this one pretty much plays right into the previous entry. This is an all-time biker axiom, although the guy who came up with the quote will always remain anonymous. At least his words are forever famous. Every biker worth his salt knows that this is an absolute truism. I don't know any guys who ride who haven't had at least one minor wipeout (and a couple who are lucky to still be here). This saying is pretty much why I drive large trucks whenever possible. I guess I'm not a rider. Oh well, there's always powerboats- I could see getting into those.
2 If You Ride Like There's No Tomorrow There Won't Be
And just to finish off a depressing little run of cautionary biker maxims here's one more for you to chew on. It's straight, it's simple, it's to the point, and it's oh so true.
Guys who ride bikes like total idiots, just because they can, may not have too many tomorrows to look forward to.
Wow, that was a lot of usage of the word "to/too" in that last sentence. Anyway, every time a biker hits the road he's battling the elements and a whole bunch of traffic larger than he is. Being stupid on top of that is, well, just stupid.
1 "I Asked God For A Bike…"
Yeah, you got me; I'm doing g that chopped-down quote thing again. I can't help it when some of these biker sayings are so witty. I just have to share them. This one is attributed to old 1980s comedian Emo Phillips, who apparently was quite the "enthusiast." Who knew? Well, I didn't since I didn't even know who Emo Phillips was. But this one has a lot of traction on biker forums and I'll bet you'll see why when I give you the full quote, which is, without further ado: "I asked God for a bike but I knew he didn't work that way so I stole a bike and asked him for forgiveness." No explanation needed, this is the perfect ending.
Sources: thrillspire.com, bikerswitchboard.com, pinterest.com
warne-smithgreptaid.blogspot.com
Source: https://www.hotcars.com/19-weird-things-people-in-motorcycle-clubs-say-to-each-other/